The great thing about being Canadian is that our patriotism generally stems from our ability to laugh at ourselves. Forget the whole "we didn't go to war against Iraq", Canada and the United States have always had a friendly rivalry built on frivolous misconceptions that can blossom into full blown stereotypes. Us Canucks stand with pride in the shadow of our southern neighbors. We just go along and make light of our quirks such as our obsession with hockey, our multi-coloured money and our wonderful beer. Did I mention that we all live in igloos and our policemen ride horses wearing cherry red uniforms? I'd heard of Canadian Bacon a good number of years ago but just never got around to seeing it. That was until I realized it was written and directed by Mr. Bowling for Columbine himself, Michael Moore. Needless to say, the ignorance towards his first fictional film soon ended. But after watching this unfunny and unenlightening satire on the Canadian-American coexistence, I wish the ignorance continued because ignorance is all this movie offers.

With the Cold War now but a chapter in a high school history text book, the American economy is starting to suffer. Factories that used to produce missiles and other weapons for the military are getting shut down and people are out of work. With his popularity dropping the President's (Alan Alda) think tank comes up with the wonderful idea of starting a new Cold War with their toque-wearing neighbours to the north. The thought was not to actually start fighting but rather rally public support against Canada and make them a perceived threat to justify the mass production of weapons again. When the propaganda campaign goes a little too well, the sheriff of Niagara Falls (John Candy in one of his final and most forgettable roles) leads a couple of his buddies on a mission to the Canadian national capital - Toronto? Everyone bumbles and things get more and more out of hand.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about Canadian Bacon is the fact that you can see Moore's mind in motion prior to Bowling for Columbine. He makes cracks about Americans and their love for guns and an apparent reluctance among all Canadians to lock their doors. Moore also rehashes some of the same ideas he covered with Roger and Me: factories are closing and the communities going to pot because of it. Most of the remaining jokes are simple nudges at some of the most common misconceptions Americans have about Canada and vice versa. The topic is ripe to be spoofed but South Park: Bigger, Louder and Uncut does it so much better. Canadian Bacon simply acknowledges stereotypes while South Park actually uses them to say something.

It's sad that Canadian Bacon doesn't work because the casting was done near perfectly. Placing proud Canadian John Candy in the role of the ultra-patriotic American sheriff is clever in that it plays against the part and the fact that Candy appears to clearly be playing Moore himself. Dan Aykroyd, another Canadian, makes a brief appearance as a Canadian cop in one of the film's few funny scenes. Other notables include Alda as the President, Kevin Pollack, Bill Nunn and Rhea Perlman of Cheers. Moore does make a cameo but only embarrasses himself as an unconvincing television protestor.

Here's to hoping that Canadian Bacon was an experiment gone bad for Moore and that he sticks to what he does best: make great documentaries that stick it to the status quo and strike fear into CEOs everywhere. Roger and Me and Bowling for Columbine are both clearer in what Moore is trying to say. They're also funnier and more thought provoking. Let's leave the poking fun at Canadians to those who do it best - Canadians.

©Movie Views; August 16, 2003